you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
