D3 body, D1 cock
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
