he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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