maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My Higher Power is John Stamos
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How's work?
Spinning.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Randomize
