I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
