fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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