You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
