We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My first STD was from a foam party
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
