God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
