Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
