hotel room ftw
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
