I smell stomach acid.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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