I heard we made out
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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