areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
