Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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