Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
