I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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