Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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