i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
