I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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