I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
