this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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