"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
