So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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