are you so shy because you have an std?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i think im in europe. pls send help
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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