She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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