How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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