Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
