I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
