i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
