24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
