Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
