Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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