Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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