she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I AM VODKA MAN
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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