Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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