I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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