How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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