I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
