no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
