she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
