I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
