Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
