wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
