Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
