hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
