He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
