I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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