I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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