Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
4 words: hood of his car
false alarm. still invincible.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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